I'm ready. I'm past ready.
One can only bear the anticipation before long
before it sours in the stomach.
Too many questions.
Too many cares.
Too much darn awareness.
Just want to push it all away.
Some things I don't want to be different.
Some things I don't want to change.
Yet all has been affected.
There's a big part of me that just wants out.
The last 4 months can't be erased.
If I'm really honest I don't want them to be.
There is brutality in blessings sometimes.
I need a mental break.
But one can't turn off the mind.
I need an emotional break.
But one can't turn off the heart.
I need a physical break.
But I need to get home.
I need a spiritual break.
-break is an interesting word here.
but that is only found in God.
in resting.
in giving up control.
The spirit within me longs for life to the full.
I am not content.
yet this is all of life.
for we were made for more than what we are.
and so we wait. and strive. and anguish.
I'm tired of Advent.
Ready for Christmas. -body and soul.
